Blogging in a New Direction

I've learned something over the last 18 months.... My journey doesn't end. So I am going to expand this blog a bit. I still want it to have an overall wellness focus - but that all encompassing wellness means that I will also be writing about other topics that affect me and the people who help me feel at home. 

First, let me update you.

My Journey - Part 2: Week 0

This is my confession post.

Somewhere around March of this year I stopped working hard to lose weight. I had just hit my 100lb mark and my confidence improve significantly. I met some new friends, friends I wouldn't trade for anything. I spent time building these new relationships and that reduced the amount of time I was able to spend in the gym. I started going to social outings, some weeks I had plans every night. This meant that instead of burning calories at the gym, I was consuming calories at an event. I knew I needed to get back on my plan. I knew my energy level had changed and I knew that instead of losing weight I was likely gaining just a bit. I tried to at least maintain my weight and I ended up doing a fairly good job, but I still had not met my goal, and I was (and am) determined to get there.

10 Mini Goals

I get it now.

Losing weight is hard.

Staying dedicated to something is hard.

Sacrificing one priority for another is hard.

It’s still worth it.

I'm back!

My 2 week break turned into a 6 month break and it’s evident on my waistline (and my attitude about life, I am sure). For the last 6 months I have not been as active in going to the gym, I haven’t been hiking as much (I blame medical issues and the Arizona sun for this one), I haven’t been carb cycling, and I’ve consumed my years’ worth of allowable sugar. I think part of the issue was my motivation, but where did that change? I got social. From April 2012 until about March 2013, I didn’t hang out with people, I didn’t go out on dates, I didn’t care about having “friends”. Then I started caring. I met new people. I created friendships I wanted to maintain. I learned that maintaining friendships takes time. I became more interested in boys (I learned that boys take time too, and patience). All the energy I had devoted to my journey to be a better me was now focused on being social. I still haven’t found my healthy balance, but I’m not happy with my waistline, and I’m ready to finally hit that goal.

Week ??: I think I suck at math

If I counted the weeks right then this would be week 52, and I started on April 22nd at week 0, and I am fairly certain there are 52 weeks in a year. So, I am either wrong about how many weeks there are in a year, I am wrong about which week I am on, or the Mayans were right. I think the Mayans were right.

Just in case you missed by facebook announcement....I HAVE LOST 100 LBS!!! I cannot even BEGIN to tell you the excitement that I felt when I got on the scale and it was FINALLY under 189.6. Even now when I am thinking about my goal for the week I'll think "I want to be under 285" and then I have to remind myself that it's 185, not 285. I am just...so happy. So relieved. So confident. So grateful for the people who have helped me get here. My sister and I (Thanks Jessie!) made a card for Rehab Arizona to thank them for helping me change my life. I wanted to give it to Chris when I had lost 100 lbs, but first I wanted to get 100 signatures. 

The Beautiful Card (Thank you Jessie!)

With all the signatures (Thank you to those of you who signed it!!)

And my trainer/friend/coach/mentor opening it.

THANK YOU REHAB ARIZONA!

Thank you CHRIS, Mandy, Jared, Josh, John, Todd, Rich, this list could go ON!

You have changed my life and I will be forever grateful.

100 lbs is a big deal, and the world thinks so too. So first of all, THANK YOU to each and EVERY one of you that has congratulated me on my weight loss, made me feel beautiful, motivated me to keep going, and has kept me up to date on YOUR progress. You make my life so wonderful! I absolutely love when someone tells me I look good because it is a reminder for me to not be so critical of myself. I have recently gotten this nasty habit of playing with the fat roll on my stomach (I'm sure people think I'm a little unstable) and thinking about how gross it is. Then I think about all the other negative things about my body. Then I get depressed. Then someone tells me how great I look and I remember how far I have come and how GRATEFUL I am for this body.

I wish these moments of negativity didn't happen that often, but they DO. A lot. Multiple times a day. One minute I look in the mirror and see little me and feel amazing, and the next I'm looking in the mirror at all my fat and wondering how anyone could think I look good. One minute I am happy to be where I am and I am okay with my body slowing down my weight loss a bit and the next I can't wait to burn 1,000 calories at 4am the next morning and eventually (quickly?!) lose another 50 lbs. It is definitely a roller coaster right now, but you have all helped me to think positive and feel positive.

I think my biggest issue right now is boys. Oh yes, here I go, onto the topic that all the young single adults (YSAs) love and hate. I am fairly certain there are a very limited number of YSAs I know that read this blog, so I feel comfortable sharing :) I also don't embarrass easily. Rampage.... I have lost 100 lbs. I may be slightly heavier than average...but I still look good (this is a moment of positivity :D). In FACT, I think I am smaller than a good number of girls out there who have been on dates and are currently dating. I STILL have not EVER been on a date where a guy legitimately asked me out (this excludes "friend" dates). REALLY?! I think this is where part of the insecurity is coming from. It just needs to happen already so I can get over this frustration and onto the rest of my life. Okay. Rampage done.

On a happier note, I WENT HIKING TODAY! The last time I went on a hike was in January, but I re-injured my ankle on that one, then a week later I injured the OTHER ankle, so I took a break. I got all taped up at RehabAZ yesterday, but some braces on this morning, and set off on my trek up South Mountain. I picked a relatively easy trail with a gradual climb and limited rocks. My ankle was a bit sore during the hike, but I think my adrenalin took over. I may have done a little jogging at the end (shhhh...I'm not supposed to be doing that!) but I did it all INJURY FREE.

Ankles ready to hike!

At the top of the Mormon Loop!

It feels SO good to be back! And now I can slowly start training for a 5k in April (my first!) and a backpacking trip in May. Also, I think I MIGHT be doing a ragnar relay in September, and possibly the Arizona Tough Mudder in February 2014. I LOVE that I can do these things. Well, that I can do them if I keep working, and I am GOING to keep working. My weight loss goals are slowly becoming fitness goals. I still have the weight loss goals, but I have fitness goals now too, and I love it. 

I love this. IT IS WORTH IT. This is worth the sugar I didn't eat. It's worth the parties I didn't go to. It's worth the 4am mornings and the workouts twice a day. It's worth the cookies, chocolate, pastries, pasta, pizza, and ice cream I skipped. It's worth the money I spent on new clothes. It's worth the friendships I put on hold because I needed to sleep. It's worth the semester I took off school to focus on breaking bad habits and creating good ones. It's worth the sweat, sore muscles, and complete exhaustion. This WILL be worth it. It will be worth the boys I don't date because they're not ready for me, it will be worth the parties and events I miss because I'm too busy working out, it will be worth the food I choose not to eat, it will be worth 4am mornings 5 times a week, it will be worth the sacrifices I will make. When I reach my goal, ALL of it will be worth it.

The last time I took progress pictures was at 203 lbs, and I wanted to wait until I was another 30 down to do more progress pictures. I am currently at 187.8 lbs, so I will post the front/back/side view pictures when I lose another 15 lbs, however I will try to take a few pics to post before then. My next big goal is to get under 170 because my BMI will then be "overweight" instead of "obese". Less than 20 lbs to go :)

A few of you have told me about your weight loss progress - I would LOVE if you kept me up to date! You can email me (iamforeverstronger@gmail.com), facebook me (Kariann Hibbard), tweet me (karianntweets) or look me up on instagram (khibbard88). I am trying to be better about instagram and tweeting, so please be patient. 

Thank you for your continued support, your congratulatory comments, and most importantly, the TIME you take to read this blog. It means so much to be when someone tells me that they follow my blog! If you have any questions or topics you want me to cover please let me know. You can leave a comment in the comment section or use one of the above methods to contact me. 

Until next week!

Kariann

Week 48: Still Fighting

I really wanted to hit a 100lbs loss before I posted again, but it is taking too long and I wanted to update you all. So first, for those of you that do not read every single facebook post of mine....I'M UNDER 200 LBS!! Amazing. I feel amazing. That is AMAZING. I've been watching the Biggest Loser and discovered that this is known as "onederland", cute huh? Well, I don't feel like I'm in onederland. Instead I feel like I am in an underwater bubble that is slowly depriving me of all oxygen. Let me explain. 

My stats are posted below, so you can see my average weight loss for the past 48 weeks compared to my average weight loss for the past two weeks. In the past when I have had a low week, I usually have a HIGH week right after. I have only once had two low weeks in a row (well, at least where a slingshot was not involved) and I had a high week after. So, I'm nervous...scared maybe? Fearful. And this is my journey to fearless... If I don't hit a high number this week, does that mean my weight loss has officially slowed down? And if that's the case, is it just because I have less to lose, or is it also because I am destroying my metabolism? I had a few goals that have fallen by the wayside (like being under 190 by now), but the one I REALLY want to hit is to be under 190 (MY onederland) by the time the BEST program (beyourbestaz.com) has their transformation class (2/25). That means I need to lose about 6lbs in two weeks...and right now that sounds almost impossible. Nervous. Scared. Anxious. ANXIOUS.

Now for the other reason I feel like I am being deprived of oxygen....I am. I have exercise educed asthma, and I thought I had it under control. I got a little sick in January (I think it was a mix of a cold and allergies) and since then my asthma has been worse. In the last couple months of 2012 I was RARELY using my inhaler, now I have to use it before and during every workout. I was able to run for 4 minutes straight today (longest EVER!) but couldn't go past it because of the asthma. SO, I found a doctor out in Scottsdale who apparently has some nifty machine to test the exercise educed asthma which will help with a treatment plan. I am going to see him next week, BUT not for the asthma (though I do hope to talk about it/schedule a follow up). Instead, we get to talk about my ankles!

I have this awful habit of spraining my ankles. Repeatedly. The last time I sprained the left one was in November, and the right one was the first week of January. Not fun. I haven't hiked since I sprained the left one and BOY am I itching to get back on the trail. I got xrays done that show some floating bone fragments, but currently they are not causing pain. However, it looks like I may have some degenerative ankle issues (pre-arthritis?? say it ain't so!). So, I am hoping to get approved for an MRI for further analysis, and in the mean time will be meeting with a sports medicine doc, the same one that has the asthma machine. Whoot! I'll update you after my appt. next week.

For now, here are my stats:

Do any of you have asthma? And what have you done about repeated sprained ankles? You can comment on the questions/comment section or on arizonatears.blogspot.com.

Forever Stronger

I am a website OWNER!

I will still update my blog from here, but you can see it (and SO much more, including current pictures!) on my website. However, the blog archive will not be on the website. If you want to look at current or recent blog posts, the website will suffice. I have also linked the new website to this blog for those who want to review old posts.

Ready?

www.foreverstronger.com