Week 32: Lose Yourself

I have become a bit obsessed with music recently. I am starting to run  jog (what? 3 minutes counts...) and I want upbeat music to listen to. I have never enjoyed rap music....until recently. Eminem has a few songs that I love, one of them is "Lose Yourself":

Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

When this song plays I think about everything I am working towards -- my weight loss goals, my fitness goals, my career goals, my dating goals, ALL of it. In that moment, if THAT was my one opportunity, would I slow down? Would I take a break? Would I give up? NO. I would push through. So that's what I do. When this song comes on, I don't stop. It doesn't matter how tired I am, how weak I feel, or how close I am to collapsing, I don't stop.

We all have moments when we want to quit. Moments when we think we could not possibly go a step further. Moments when we are so fed up with trying so hard for so long that we no longer care about the consequences. Those are the moments that define us. Those are the moments that we get to show our strength. Those are the moments that we get to reach out to someone ELSE and help them with their moment. 

My point in this is that reaching your goals (ANY goals) is never going to be easy and there will always be obstacles, but obstacles are not an excuse to quit. Instead, they are an opportunity to get stronger. 

Now for my week :) 

If you don't know who TOM is, read the hints. I'm fine when TOM stays for a few days, but I'm not fine when he's just on his way. Being a woman is hard enough without trying to lose weight when your body is retaining water for no other purpose than to retain water. You cramp, you feel bloated, and you are ridiculously tired. I could BARELY get out of bed on Wednesday, AND it was a 4:30am morning AND I had a 45 minute cardio session calling my name. I reluctantly got up, went to the gym, and managed 30 minutes before I nearly collapsed. I worked 1/2 a day, went home, and SLEPT. These days will happen. They suck, but they happen. I also missed Thursday evening's workout because I got super busy with church stuff (and I may have had a LOT on my mind) and went to a haunted house instead... So, I missed a total of 2.25 workouts.

I'll put the spreadsheet totals up on Monday (I don't have access to excel till then). I was a little nervous for this mornings weigh in. My goal was 3 lbs. 

Last week: 233.2. This week: 230.4. Equals: -2.8.

I'm pleased with that! For missing 2.25 workouts, I will accept this. I still need to average 3lbs/week to hit my big goal, but I can make it up this week. HOWEVER, I get a mani/pedi when I'm under 230 and I BARELY missed it. AND 2 of my friends were going for mani/pedis today. After my 6 mile hike, a subway sandwhich, and some chicken, corn, and pineapple, I decided to weigh myself in again. This does NOT count towards this weeks weigh in, but....

229.6........AAHHHHHH!!!!!! So yes. I got a mani/pedi. 

BUT the most EXCITING part is that I have now lost 60.0 LBS. Honestly, I was terrified that I would get caught in the 50's and wouldn't find a way out. But I am already at 60 LBS. 70 - watch out! I'm on my way!

Week 31:Tight Schedule?

For the next 11 weeks I will be working out 9x/week. I understand that I may have the occasional interruption, but I am hopeful they will be rare.

Monday/Wednesday/Friday
4:30am: Wake up!
5:00am: Cardio @ LA Fitness
6:15am: Shower
7:30am: Commute to ASU
8:00am: Work
5:00pm: Physical Therapy/Personal Training (PT) (Cardio/Weights on Wednesday)
7:30pm: Teach Bagpipes (Band Rehersal on Friday)
9:30pm: Sleep

Tuesday/Thursday
6:00am: Wake up!
7:00am: Commute to ASU
7:30am: Institute
8:00am: Work
5:00pm: Cardio @ LA Fitness
6:00pm: Errands :(
7:30pm: Foam Roll
8:30pm: Sleep

Saturday
5:30am: Wake up!
6:30am: Pick up sister (Thanks for hiking with me every week!)
7:00am: Hike
11:00am: Cinderella (errands, clean, cook, etc..)
4:00pm: FREE TIME!!! HALLELUJAH!!

Sunday
8-9:00am: Wake up :)
11:00am: Church
3:00pm: Prepare food for the week
5:00pm: Relax.

REPEAT.

Last week was my first week on this schedule. While I am not a fan of waking up at 4:30am, I am a fan of working out in the morning.

My nutrition was GREAT this week. I even logged my food on MyFitnessPal. I started to get dizzy during my workout on Friday night and realized I had only consumed 713 calories for the day....oops. Fridays are always hard, but this one was even worse. If I did not have good options for lunch in the past (no fridge/freezer, nothing prepared, etc...) I would just grab a burger, now I just have a protein shake. Unfortunately, protein doesn't have the calories I need.

I never track what I eat on the weekends. I don't go totally off plan and eat whatever I see, but I allow myself two days of not planning. I've started a habit of getting a subway sandwich after my Saturday hike, eating my normal breakfast meal a few hours later, and working in lean protein during the rest of the day. Sundays I depend on protein bars, protein powder, and whatever I am preparing for the next week (usually turkey tacos). I'll allow myself to have things like chips and guac or a lean cut steak, and whatever fruit sounds good. This past weekend I made some no sugar pumpkin spice cookies and they turned out SO good. I also made Chris Powell's Peanut Butter Power Bricks. They are DELISH. The only bad thing about the peanut butter bricks is that they have honey and peanut butter in them, so you have to be careful to not indulge too much.

4 LBS. YEAH!!! I want SO SO badly to be under 200 by January 1st - that gives me 11 weeks to lose 34 lbs. This is an average of just over 3 lbs a week. That is a LOT. I have averaged 1.8 lbs a week. That is why I will be working out 9x a week for the next 11 weeks. I am skipping Thanksgiving. I am skipping Halloween goodies. I know Christmas is going to be SO hard, but I have to keep my goals in mind. I know this goal might be too much of a stretch. If I can't hit 199 by January 1st I will at least get there before January 31st.

But I'm going to try for January 1st.

Many of you have asked for progress pictures. I have put these on the page "pictures" and will continue to update this monthly. I was pleasantly surprised at the physical change since 282 lbs. I hope 190 will be just as great :)

6 Months is a Long Time

I sprained my ankle on my hike last weekend, so I decided to take the fitness side easy this week. I put in less than an hour of cardio and less than 90 minutes of weights. In hindsight, I could have done more weights. I guess cardio has become such a staple of my routine that I don’t think about doing weights without it. My nutrition, however, was pretty close to perfect. I ate at my ward’s FHE on Monday (I usually skip all food related activities) and although I tried to stay healthy and on plan, I probably ate more than I would have if I had prepared it myself.

One small nutrition mishap (really, it was miniscule) and a week of low physical activity, and I still lost 1.8lbs. That makes me feel…..wonderful. I know that my weight loss last week had almost nothing to do with my fitness and everything to do with my nutrition; this is SUCH a motivator to stay on track with food. I really do enjoy the fitness. It may be difficult to wake up at 4:30am or spend my evenings at the gym instead of vegging in front of the TV, but I enjoy fitness more than I enjoy not eating out with friends, preparing every meal, and skipping the dessert. I needed this motivation to stay on track with what I eat.

I threw away 4 bags of clothes this weekend. Some days I feel smaller, other days I don’t, but those 4 bags prove that I am. I have lost 6 dress sizes, medium shirts (although they are tight) fit better than extra-large shirts (which now drown me), and workout clothes I bought over the summer are becoming too big. I know this is all great, wonderful, fantastic!, but I keep looking at the future and it makes this so much harder. I have lost 50lbs in 6 months, which means it will take at least another 6 months for the next 50lbs, and then I’m still not done. I know I need to take this one step at a time, one day at a time, one pound at a time, but 6 months suddenly feels like a check point that gets farther away the faster I run.

On a more positive note, I have some new goals. I currently hate running. Really, HATE it. Absolutely not a fan. HOWEVER, I want to love running and the first step to loving running is to run. I want to run a 5k before I hit my one year (April 19^th), a 10k before my birthday (July 13^th), and a half marathon in 2013. I believe that this is 100% possible, but I do need to get to work. I am also hoping that working towards fitness goals will help me to take this one step at a time instead of trying to tackle 6 months’ worth of work overnight.

Finally, my short term goal is to be at 215 by December 8, 2012. This means that I have just over 8 weeks to lose 22 lbs. I need to be losing 3lbs a week to meet this goal. So, if any of you try to tempt me with sugar, fat, fried greasy food, etc… you may get smacked in the face with a fish. However, if any of you want to hang out at the gym, the trail, the track, or take a quick 5 mile walk to discover new fun, you may become my new BFF.

Week 29: 16 miles

I walked the long way home from my ward's softball games on Tuesday (3 miles), my roommate and I walked to the grocery store for some bananas on Wednesday (2 miles), and I took the long way to the mall and then Whole Foods on Thursday (5.6 miles) for a grand total of more than 10 miles. And that was just during the week. I wrapped it all up with a 6 mile hike on Saturday. I was getting sick of the gym and loving the weather. I wanted to be outside but I still need to be careful with my knee so my activities are limited. I did a small amount of jogging during my walks, but I learned that running outside is much harder than running on a treadmill. I like walking. A lot. I wish I could like running as much as I like walking.

I also like sugar. A lot. Cookies especially. Chocolate chip, peanut butter, butterscotch, shortbread...yum. And I really like the holidays. Pumpkin EVERYTHING. Pumpkin bread. Pumpkin pie. Pumpkin hot chocolate. Pumpkin crepes. Pumpkin muffins. Pumpkin cookies. Cookies.. and TOFFEE, and caramel, and homemade candies, and peppermint, and those peppermint kisses.. Okay. You get the idea. I love sugar and I love all the sugary treats that come with the holidays. I also love that I am more active, that I can move easier, that I have lost 4 dress sizes, that I look and feel better. Oh the dilemmas. I have decided that I will enjoy the holidays next year MUCH more if I have met my goals. So this year, I am going to enjoy them a different way. I will not eat sugar (like cookies, muffins, cookies, pies, cookies...) until January. I feel like this is a BIG commitment. I am A-OKAY with sugar alternatives (like stevia and xylitol), and this will help me stay on my goal. My WONDERFUL friend and healthy side kick Emily turned me onto sugar free chocolate. It is perfect for my sweet tooth. I can do this. It's just three months. Heck, maybe it will turn into a lot longer then that. But for now, it is at LEAST three months.

Last week was my first week without sugar. I also drank a lot of water. And as you have read I did a lot of walking. I weighed in on Friday morning and I was 0.6 lbs away from hitting my halfway mark to my first big goal. I was PERFECT on Friday. I did NOT want to screw it up. I drank so much water. Ate perfectly. Worked hard. And was EXHAUSTED by the end of the day (it was an exhausting week). Drum roll please.....

I'VE LOST 50 LBS!!!!!!!!!! Wow. Typing that felt so much better than saying it did. It just feels so much more real. I have lost 50 lbs. 50 LBS!! My first big goal is 190 and I am MORE than HALFWAY there. Do you know how long I have dreamt about losing 50 lbs?! If I would have started then...maybe I'd be done now. But if I didn't start when I did, I probably wouldn't even be halfway. 50 lbs..

It took me 45 lbs for me to find a way to cook salmon that I actually like. I still don't have the chicken down (at least not without adding absurd amounts of cream). I want to cook my chicken fast and the good chicken recipes seem to take TIME to prepare. If you know of good recipes that are quick and EASY (I'm a horrible cook..) please let me know!

I am so excited for the next 50 lbs. I have huge plans for when I hit that goal. I will make it through this holiday season without getting off track. I hope to hit my goal by February. I'm a rockstar. I can do this.

I've been a little MIA...

28 weeks. I am at 28 weeks. I cannot believe the last time I posted was 13 weeks. During that 15 weeks I went camping in Alpine, went to Camp Carey in Prescott, drove to Salt Lake and surprised my mama, got the worst sinus infection I have EVER had, and may have become addicted to hiking. 

The sinus infection started with me feeling super dizzy. At work. At home. At the gym (that was awful). I went to the doctor, did an EKG and had blood work done, and was told I was 100% healthy. Two weeks later the sore throat started, followed the next day by a lovely cough in my chest. One week and some antibiotics later the sore throat/nasal/pressure issues were gone, but the lovely cough lingered. And lingered. And lingered some more. I have asthma, which I am SURE is why the cough stuck around so long, but asthma combined with fluid in your lungs creates an inability to breathe when you work out. 

So obviously the working out did not go so well for about a month. But at least I stayed on my nutrition plan right..? Right?? Well...not exactly. I have discovered that I am GREAT at eating the right things when I am working out, but when I am lacking on the exercise I also tend to go off my food plan. I guess I am an all or nothing kind of girl. The good news is that I did not gain any weight, instead I was able to practice maintaining. The bad news is that I will probably not be able to make my goal of being under 200 by January 1, 2013. 

A few weeks ago I decided to try jogging again. When I tried back in April I could jog for MAYBE 30 seconds before the lack of oxygen shut down my muscles. By July I was able to jog for 90 seconds. Somewhere around September 5 I was able to jog for 3 minutes straight. Two days later I tried again (this time WITH the inhaler) and got to 5 minutes. 5 minutes! Ah! That is amazing! I was so proud of myself. Until my knee started hurting. Happy joy. I have now been resting my knee/hamstring for two weeks and am JUST getting to the point where I can use it again. I am excited to use my new running shoes, go on a 5 mile hike, start running bleachers, and test my jogging limits. I found a website that has been super motivational to me. www.chasefear.com. I highly recommend you look at it, especially if like to/want to run.

I am down 13 lbs in 15 weeks. This may not be as high of a number as I wanted, but 13lbs is still weight lost. I am  happy with any fat that comes off my body. I am less than 5 lbs away from losing 50 lbs. Bring it on.

My Journey: Week 13

My birthday was last week. Birthdays bring social outings and sugary calorie laden pastries. I have been dreading my birthday week since I started this journey in April, but I have also been preparing for it.

Success: No cake
Setback: Scoop of ice cream
Success: Worked out ON my birthday
Setback: Ate out 3 times :(

P.F. Changs with friends for my birthday. I ate pretty healthy, minus the ice cream, but I probably ate too much. Chipotle with my sister on my birthday: steak salad w/ guacamole, side of pumpkin bread (starbucks). Cafe Rio the day after my birthday (salad, brown rice, no tortilla, no chips, no cheese, 1/2 dressing). I made it healthy, but again, probably ate too much. Overall, this was a great BIRTHDAY week, but a pretty bad NUTRITION week. The good news is that I am under what I was before my slingshot week, so hopefully my weight loss is back on track, now I just need to get my MIND back on track.

My biggest setback of the week was the ice cream, pumpkin bread, and brownie (oh, did I forget to tell you about the brownie?). This is my biggest setback because it puts sugar back in my system, and once it is there I am going to crave it more. So now I am dealing with sugar cravings that I need to get rid of. On top of that I got a little dehydrated last week so my cravings were a little worse. I am working on getting back on track with water and I am back on a no sugar kick until it is out of my system.

My biggest success of the week is the fact that I have now dropped 4 dress sizes :) My pants were feeling a bit big last week so I decided to go shopping on Friday. I started at a size 24 and now fit comfortably in a size 20. The 20's feel a tad big (maybe I'm just used to my jeans being tight?) and I am SO excited to eventually fit into the 18's. Once I leave the 20's I am NEVER going back. The shirts at Lane Bryant are now too big for me. I have one more size that will fit me at Torrid, but after that I'll have to find a new place to shop for shirts. Honestly, this thought scares me. I remember buying XL and XXL shirts at Old Navy, and I still get stuff from Walmart every now and then, but I feel like that and plus size stores is all I have ever known. I wear a 14-16 shirt, so I will need to find a place to buy cute 10-12 shirts. Any suggestions?

Time for the big reveal....

I am a bit disappointed in myself because of what I ate last week, but I am MORE proud of the fact that I have lost 32.6 lbs. I need to remember why I am doing this. Dropping 4 sizes is not enough. Losing 30 lbs is not enough. I have been changing my goals to accommodate what I *think* I can accomplish based on my current progress, instead I need to work harder to make the goals I already set. 

I made salmon and chicken last night. I have been struggling with my food over the last couple of weeks because it has not tasted great (I didn't cook my chicken all the way last week so I didn't even eat all of it....oops). Instead of using prepackaged and pre-marinated salmon this week I decided to go back to flavoring my own. Instead of using thick chicken breasts I used strips so that they would cook completely faster. I made preparing the veggies easier buy buying bags of veggies I can steam in the microwave, that way I can spend more time ensuring that I will actually eat my protein. 

So, back to step 1. And I am keeping a food diary. I HAVE to do this. I am GOING to do this.

My Journey: Week 12

My weight loss has been slowing down significantly over the last two weeks. Yes, I am still losing, but not at the rate I was. I have been reading Chris Powell's book "losing it" because I am following his carb cycling plan. Chris Powell recommends a "slingshot" week during the 4th, 8th, 12th (etc..) weeks of the program. Basically, you follow the plan for 3 weeks, then go off the plan for 1 (but not entirely off, you're upping your carbs and calories a bit for a week). Going off the plan for this long terrifies me, which is why after being on the plan for 9 weeks I had not yet done a slingshot week. The slingshot is designed to prevent the dreaded "dieters plateau", which is pretty much where I am at. Just like your body adapts to workouts (and you stop building muscle/losing weight) your body also adapts to its diet (diet being whatever it is your are putting in your body, not a "restriction" on what you can consume). Given that I have been doing this for 9 weeks, it is quite plausible that my body has adapted to this diet. It is likely that my metabolism has slowed, thus slowing my weight loss. So, I decided to try the slingshot week....er....half week. 

On Thursday night I ate dinner at Taco Bell, which by the way, did not taste NEARLY as good as my turkey tacos. An hour after eating I went to the gym and had the WORST heartburn. No seriously, absolute worst. I will never eat at Taco Bell again. I weighed in on Friday at 258.8. I ate lunch yesterday at Panda Express and had orange chicken, mandarin chicken, and a small amount of chow mein. While this successfully upped my carbs and calories, it made my stomach feel awful. Never eating at Panda Express again either. I went almost 6 hours without eating yesterday, which is a BIG no no. That allows my metabolism to go into starvation mode, which is exactly what I do NOT want to happen. I didn't have anything with me that I could eat, was not able to go home, and did not want to eat out again. So instead I ate at 9 when I got home (another no no). Needless to say, I have been quite successful in going off the plan. I am eating one big meal today, and loading up on carbs tomorrow (spaghetti maybe?? I dunno...) and then back to the plan on Monday. I am actually really excited to get back to the plan. Eating carbs, sugar, and greasy food just feels foreign, and it makes me feel like crap. 

I weighed in this morning at 261.8, but I know I am retaining water, and I have been eating like crap. Usually I would be highly discouraged about this, but I couldn't care less right now. I know that this weekend may set me back 3-5lbs but I am hoping the resulting weight loss will more than make up for it. I guess this is sort of my trial slingshot - we'll see if it works!